A French woman and personal life coach's outlook on self-confidence, communication and relationships. How to gain and manage them to get what and who you deserve.

Posts tagged ‘social media’

Facebook: the future of on line dating ?

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I started online dating even before the era of the Internet. At the time, only a happy few could use it: the connection was expensive and it was not socially admitted yet. I’ve met a bunch of very interesting people this way, many friends, and my daughter’s father, most of them I’m still in touch with after decades. Because it was somehow a “private club”.

Then came the Internet, as we know it now. So I moved on to dating websites, the most famous at the time being Match.com which still exists, though it has changed a lot since. There again, although the access was free, I’ve met great people because not anybody would go on-line to date. It took a while, a decade or so, for the majority to acknowledge it was a great new way to meet somebody and openly admit they tried it.

As online dating became more and more successful, websites went multiplying. More or less all similar. A few tried to stand out offering various features, soon copied by the others.
Nowadays you can find all types of websites, targeting all kinds of people (Christians, Black, Asians, So-called “selected” ones, etc…). Some, like E-Harmony for instance, even offer to help you go through the dating process.
Of course, the main ones would suggest you “matches”, based on your requirements and “so-called” personality and compatibility tests. How many did you find who were actually real matches to you though ? Not very surprising it doesn’t wonderfully work, since people are not machines and a computer, at least for the time being, can’t replace the human brain, even less understand your feelings.

I don’t mean you can’t meet your significant other on dating websites. Thank God, it can work ! :D And fortunately so, for more and more ask you to pay for a membership, so I guess the very least you can expect is to meet potential matches, right ? :) Yet, more often than not, the return on investment is rather low, isn’t it ?

Nowadays, those sites have become so crowdy that everybody, the best and the worst, is on there now. So you can’t even tell for sure whom you’re actually talking to. Scammers of all kinds, liars, pretenders, etc, etc… the list is endless.
And to contact those people, you would have to pay? Don’t expect the websites to do the cast out for you!
True that most scammers wouldn’t bother to become a member, although many do. They see it as an investment. But, even though, paying for a membership doesn’t protect you from all the others and there is certainly no guarantee of result.

On the other hand, four of my friends recently met on Facebook and are now married.
And, coming to think of it, I begun to realize Facebook (and other social media, but Facebook is the biggest) was actually a fantastic tool to date on-line, although differently, using different codes and processes.
As for me, I’m convinced, although it has already started, it will become more and more popular among on-line daters in the future.

So I thought of comparing the different “services” those sites offer versus what you can find on Facebook for instance. Which is the most effective ? Who can take advantage of moving on from dating on dedicated sites to Facebook. ? The pros and cons of each.

This is what I shall detail in another post. Stay tuned ! ;)